Balance and Pony Life Lessons

There is a lot to learn about yourself when you are around big animals, especially horses.  I'm a Sag baby, half horse, which means I am drawn to the ponies.  All horses are ponies to me, just as all dogs are pups, no matter how old.

As a kid, I spent all my free time at the barn; it was my escape from being the geek kid at school and the problem child at home.  I would shovel stalls to get an hour on the back of a horse.  Riding is like using chop sticks; you have to pay attention and small movements matter.

When I lived back east, I would go to a barn near Marshall and rent a horse to ride for an hour.  There is nothing like being on the back of a pony to put things in perspective.  If life was difficult, staying on the back of that horse made me realize I could keep up with whatever difficulties I encountered.  Being in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains in the fall on the back of a horse was magical because it seemed God took a paintbrush of yellows, reds, browns and golds to the hillsides.  I would always come home after a good ride with a smile on my face and sore thigh muscles.

Balance has always been a challenge for me, both mentally and more often lately, physically.  How do you find balance in a life that is full of pitfalls, bad choices and having people depend on you?  I'm still working on that, and probably will be for the rest of my life.  I'm learning, through working with the ponies, that balance is key to being a happy person.  If I am unbalanced in the saddle, I'm eating dirt.  If I'm afraid of being unbalanced in the saddle, I'll never get on and find out differently.  If I continue to look and work for balance on all levels, I find that I appreciate things I never would have noticed before such as a perfectly blue sky, a gift of flowers just because or the most important things in my life:  my son, my fiancee, my friends, my house and the fact I wake up every day wondering if I'll fall today or not.  Balance is a goal, a hard goal, but in my life, the gold ring I keep aspiring to reach for. 

So, here are some of my pony life lessons:

1.  Be aware.  Don't take for granted your surroundings, whether its in a round ring or out on the trail or life in general. Years ago, I signed up for a Ride-A-Thon to help raise money for an organization that worked with kids and adults with disabilities and horses.  I raised a lot of money, but had no horse to ride.  I had met an older lady who was happy for me to clean out her stalls and my son and I would spend weekends working around her horses.  I asked her if I could "borrow" one, and she agreed.  So I had a horse, but no way to trailer her to the site.  I rented a trailer and away we went.  This pony was supposed to be a Tennessee Walker, but had the worst gait ever.  Walkers are like sitting in a rocking chair; this girl couldn't figure out what gait she wanted to do.  The course was a 5 mile trail ride through Great Falls and we had a wonderful time.  We finished early and I wanted to go around again.  The first time around, we passed a ginormous concrete post sticking out of the ground.  No worries.  The second time around, since I'd already been familiar with the trail, my feet were out of the stirrups and I was enjoying the day and the ride, not paying attention.  Damn if that pony didn't buck at the concrete post and the next thing I know, I'm flat on my back on the ground.  Thrown at a walk.  Seriously.

2.  Patience is a virtue.  Patience has never been one of my strong points, but working around horses forces me to learn patience.  Ponies are smart and sometimes loco, but I digress.  Good, wonderful things happen when I slow down and appreciate the work I am doing with a horse.  A head shake, a nuzzle, bright eyes and ears forward are all rewards for the human involved.  Patience with people may get you a head shake, but at least you've given them time to think about it.
3.  Never take anything for granted.  When the pony listens to your commands on a lunge line, its a huge success, but that doesn't mean those same voice commands will work once a saddle is on.  Working with ponies is like interacting with the people in your life.  You start taking them for granted and bad things happen, relationships fade away, trust is broken and resentment sets in and you find yourself in the dirt wondering what just happened?

4.  Building a relationship from the ground up is worth the patience it takes to sustain one.  Starting from scratch, without bringing your baggage into the ring or the relationship is worth the time.  Horses are very sensitive to moods and attitudes.  They know when you're having a bad day, and will make sure you have a REALLY bad day if that's the direction you are headed.  Leaving the attitude at the gate will turn things around and make it a really great day.  Holding on to bad stuff will only make things worse.

5.  You may be old and be a little grey, but you still got attitude. And like a good rub-down.  My current pony, Diamond is a bit older and wiser than Loco Luna and myself.  She understands what I need from her and knows that when all is good in our world, a good rub-down at the end of an hour of lunging is worth it.  I may be older and greyer, but attitude has gotten me this far.  And I will purr for a good massage!

6.  Don't get too close or you might get stepped on.  If I'm having a bad attitude sort of day, its very easy to leave myself open to being stepped on and my feelings hurt.  Personal space people!  Hanging around the ponies offers the same risks and rewards.  Body language speaks volumes and the ponies are the best readers of body language ever.  You make them mad, well, you didn't need that foot anyway for a couple of days, right?  That'll teach ya about attitude.

7.  Horses are like people: they show you 'their bad selves' to see if you're up to it, and then become cream puffs when the trust is established. Ok, not ALL people, but 99.9% of horses.  We all need challenges to keep us on our game.  A horse will have you figured out in the first few moments and then push you to see if you're up to it.  Once they realize you'll go step by step with them, they become amazing companions.  I've found people will do that as well, especially in small towns.  They will push your buttons, think they have you figured out and then work with what they think they know about you.  Once trust is established, sometimes taking years, these same people will come around to accepting who you are, not who they thought you were.  What you see is what you get with horses.  At least horses allow room for doubt and forgiveness.

8.  No matter what scares you, patience, trust and an open heart will overcome the fear.  I used to be able to jump on the back of a pony and take off.  Then I got older and let 30 years pass before I came full circle back to the ponies.  Horses are big.  Falling off a horse is scarey.  The older I get the less balance I have.  Horses don't like it when you are riding them and miss a beat and lose your balance.  They'll let the ground teach you what balance is about and the ground is as unforgiving as life sometimes.  The key is to brush yourself off and give it another go.  The first time I was bucked off, it left me dazed and pissed off.  I got right back on that pony and made it around the ring.  We both learned a big lesson that day.  Concentrate on staying in the MIDDLE of the saddle and the horse will be much happier.  One of my proudest moments was getting bucked off and getting back on, and staying on.  I've been thrown a lot of curveballs in my life, but I always brush myself off, look at my bruises with wonder and get back into the game.  Trusting myself has been a huge life lesson.

9.  When you are afraid, jack it up a notch and the fear will go away.  I hate letting fear get in the way of my life.  I am terrified of spiders, and that's about all.  Give me a pony and the challenge of getting a 40lb saddle on her back and getting up and staying on and I'm up to it.  I don't believe in fear; I believe in calculated risks.  Some pan out, most don't, but I still try to jack up the volume to a level that is challenging me to continue to take risks.  Standing in front of a group of people and making a presentation can be terrifying, especially if you're not confident about what you have to say.  Standing next to a horse that knows you're afraid is a much bigger challenge.  Channeling that fear of staying on has worked for me.

10.  It may be scarey, but with a bit of trust, it will work out.  I know I'm going to fall off that horse, I just know it.  That's scarey.  That changes however, when I have the faith in myself to also know that I am capable of staying on that pony.  She trusts that I will not hurt her or do something stupid so she is along for a great ride.  I trust she is not going to do something scarey and stupid and I hold on for the great ride.  I have learned over the years that trusting yourself is so much easier than trusting others.  When I've let go and allowed myself to trust others, I've been hurt and I've been pleasantly surprized.  Just like with the ponies, it's a crap shoot, but you have to just let go and have the confidence in yourself of knowing you are doing the right thing.

11.  Sometimes you just have to get dirty/mucky to enjoy life's little pleasures.  I love being a girrly-girl.  I love wearing pretty things, doing the whole nail thing, wearing a kick-ass pair of heels and knowing that I stand out when I walk into a room.  That's fun.  What's better is getting dirty, whether its working in the garden or the corral with mucky, mud-sucking muck up to your ankles.  The smell of the earth and horses brings me back to center, to balance.  I am growing living things.  I am working with large animals that can either make my day fantastic or make sure I end up on the ground covered in horse shit.  The pleasure of getting dirty, and appreciating my little seedlings growing or a bluebird on a fencepost as I pick myself up from the ground is what makes the difference between an ok day and a great day.

12.  When you are short tempered, let me teach you to be patient. In other words, when you are short tempered let me teach you how to slog around the pasture for an hour before you can catch me.   Sure, I am pissed off when I have to slog around the 15 acres of pasture to get a halter on a pony.  The key is to have bribes.  Shake a bucket of cake, and they will come running.  So much for being short tempered.  It's hard to be pissed off when you are surrounded by ponies happy to see you and nuzzling you for a neck scratch.  As with anything, if you feel your own self worth its contagious.

13.  When you are arrogant, let me teach you humility by showing you what 1200 pounds of yippee-yahoo-gotta-go horse can do when suitably inspired.  1200 pounds of yippe-kay-ay horse will learn you quick what humility looks like. I am no match to an inspired pony.  Arrogance is over rated in a room full of people or a corral with one pony.  I will guarantee you the pony will have you figured out as arrogant long before a room full of people, but once figured out, is the arrogance worth it?

Thanks for reading!