Waiting for the phone to ring

I'm going on being unemployed for five months now.  In that time, I have submitted countless applications, made countless phone calls and have had 3 interviews.  In five months.  I've responded to positions where I've been told to my face that I am over-qualified for the position, and asked why I was even bothering.  The question is not finding the perfect job.  The question is why NOT me?

I know I'm in good company when the unemployment rate in this country is over 9%.  There are news items on almost a daily basis about people like me:  unemployed for over six momths or more or underemployed and grateful to be working,   Without exception, these people are my age, with my experience and background and have no health insurance or pension to fall back on.

It is my choice to live in a smaller community where the jobs are fairly limited.  Quality of life matters to me and I am happy with my choice, however I am not satisfied with my options.  The sad truth is I make more on unemployment than I would taking a $10/hr job.  I'm humbled by this experience.

I could have taken a job at a guest ranch, where I would live on site for 5 months as a housekeeper.  I thought of it as a paid summer camp.   I would have jumped on that one, except I am in a relationship that would not survive a 5 month break.  Jeff is my priority and needs me and that option was not a good one.  I could have sold insurance door-to-door, and I actually gave that one some significant thought.  The idea of going door-to-door however made my decision for me.  I could have taken a temporary position in Big Sky for a 2 week conference, but I would have to commute, and 130 miles each way was out of the question.

So I sit in front of my computer each morning and scan the available positions in and around Livingston and Bozeman.  If I were a roofer, I'd be working now.  If I were a server, I could look forward to $7/hr with tips, but who wants to have a middle age woman coming to their table taking drink orders?  I am no longer young and cute and frankly the idea of serving people I used to be professional peers with turns my stomach.  I still have some pride left.

I am blessed to have a man in my life who is incredibly supportive.  He doesn't want me to settle.  We are making it work, even though I have my moments, if not days of depression and lack of self worth.  I know I have a lot to offer.  I know I am a hard worker.  I know that I am smart and reliable and capable.  These are my truths.

My reality, on the hand, hits me on the head on a daily basis.  I run into people who ask how I am and how the job search is going.  I tell them I am a lady of leisure these days.  I garden and I go to the gym and keep the house straightened up.  I take my dogs for long walks and do yoga and pilates and clip coupons.  On really good days, I head to the ranch for pony time.

I keep waiting for the phone to ring.  I keep my fingers crossed that the applications I've submitted have been well written and will come to the attention of someone, anyone, who wants to talk to me about a potential job.  I keep on hoping and being the Queen of eternal optimism, I know something will come through.  I can only hope its before I settle for the job opening at the dry cleaners in town and running pizzas as a second job.

Thanks for reading!