Being an Unemployed Queen

I'm considered Queen of the Universe.  All my friends know that about me and I have a makeup bag with Queen of the Universe emblazoned on it, so it must be true.  The Queen club is a small one.  My friend Lorraine, is Queen of the Obvious.  I love her dearly, but this title doesn't really jive with who she represents to the world, yet it still fits.  Lorraine became Queen of the Obvious the weekend we took our young kids to Lake Anna.  My six year old son had recently lost both his front teeth.  We were grilling burgers and corn on the cob for dinner.  When I gave my son his dinner he looked at me and said "but Mommy, I can't eat the corn on the cob"!  My first reaction was "DUH, what a stupid mom I am".  Lorraines reaction on the other hand was to say "just cut the corn OFF the cob, he can eat it that way".  Never, not once in a million years, would that have occurred to me.  Therefore, Lorraine is the Queen of the Obvious.

Jeannie, a friend of Lorraine's is Queen of Comp.  She can go anywhere and get whatever she wants for free.  Every time.  So we have the Queen club trifecta.  I maintain my Queen status by knowing in my gut that I know everything and I'm right all the time.  Until I'm proven wrong, and then I accept my failings, brush off the crown, and place it firmly back on my head.

My Queen crown is a bit off-center these days because I am unemployed, again.  All I can say is What the Fuck?  Had a great job, thought it was going well, based on my explerary performance review in December 2010, only to find myself laid off in March 2011.  The reason?  Hmm,  owners couldn't afford my measly $11/hr salary.  My job description was changed in January 2011 to Outside Sales and the owners were disappointed I couldn't fill 99 rooms in February and March in Livingston Montana, immediately.  Livingston Montana in the dead of winter is not a destination for many who are planning conferences with at least 6 months lead time.  Hmm.  People who live here don't go out in the dead of winter unless they are skiing, or going to the grocery store.  Negative temps and wind chill has that affect on folks.

I don't like being unemployed, but I am doing my best to keep busy.  I typically spend 3-4 hours each morning searching for a position, re-writing my resume to reflect that particular job and writing an appropriate cover letter that doesn't sound like a template letter.  Being unemployed is hard work!  And most days, self-defeating.  Insurance companies love me.  I've been head-hunted by 5 at last count.  I was actually considering one, but the more I learned about the company, the less interested I became.

My initial reaction to looking at the insurance industry was that I am at a crossroads in my career and needed to redirect my energy.  30 years ago I did what was expected of me and was a secretary.  HATED that, but did it anyway because as my father put it "you'll always have a job".  He was right, damn him.  He was right for the DC metro area, but there is life outside of the beltway.

I hit 40 and discovered I hated what I was doing, hated where I was living, hated the keeping up with the jones' attitude and rat race of DC.  So I did what any normal, clear-thinking Queen would do:  dumped my life, my job and moved to the middle of nowhere Blanding Utah to become a VISTA volunteer working in economic development.  Who does that??  This Queen does, and has absolutly no regrets.  Well maybe one very big one, but we've worked through that.  I was no longer a secretary.  I was on the ground, working with the Navajo, Ute and Morman communities bringing in tourist dollars to a town you can't find on a map.  And I was very successful at it.

After two years as a VISTA volunteer living under the poverty level, I found sustainable employment as the director of a Main Street program in Farmington New Mexico.  I've run non-profit organizations ever since.  I've been the lead on recruiting volunteers, promoting communities, community planning, politics and a voice.  I found my voice after leaving my comfort zone of 40 years in the DC metro area.

Then I met a man.  A jackass.  A manipulative asshole.  And I fell hard.  He left me for a wife I wasn't aware he had.  My life imploded.  I've always been the one to leave.  I always have my eye on the exits.   Heartbroken and broke, I made my way back to DC to lick my wounds and figure out what to do next.

Because I made my "name" with the Main Street program, I followed the money to a Main Street job in Livingston Montana.  Montana!  Who does that??  I kept asking my friends, "who goes to Fucking Montana??"  Never just "Montana", always "Fucking Montana".  Hmm, you got it.  Being Queen allows you take the road less travelled and instinctively know its the right decision.  Which brings us full circle to selling insurance.  Karyle Frazier, insurance agent.  I don't think so.

So, I am an unemployed Queen.  I go to the gym.  I walk the dogs.  I work with horses.  I'm getting ready to plant my garden.  I clean floors and do laundry and watch really bad daytime TV on bad days.  I'm addicted to all the Housewives on Bravo, except New Jersey-loud, mean and really uninteresting.  At least with the others (NY, OC etc) the clothes rock, the shoes are to die for and the bickering is just stupid and doesn't break out into a fist fight.  Living vicarously through ladies with more money and stupid issues than I could ever want.

So, here ends my very first blog as an Unemployed Queen.  Stay tuned.  Maybe next time I'll write about the joys of having a pup that sheds like a blizzard or a horse that doesn't want to remember from one day to the next what lunging is for.

Thanks for reading!